Helping Seniors with Loneliness

Do you like to be alone? Many people like the solitude of their own company whether it’s being engrossed in a book, walking through the woods, or repairing a car. But being alone and feeling lonely are two different things.

Loneliness can be loosely defined as a deficit in the number of people and friends in your life that results in unpleasant feelings. Added to this is whether you feel connected to people or not.

For seniors, loneliness can creep in because of certain circumstances: loss of spouse, change in physical condition, loss of mobility, less willingness to make new friends, and social isolation. And loneliness can lead to depression and other health problems.

Dispelling the Loneliness Myths

• Research shows that seniors are not especially lonely. The loneliest group is teenagers. And even middle-aged adults report higher levels of loneliness than seniors.
• Just because you live alone does not mean you will be lonely. In fact, research suggests that those seniors who live with family are lonelier than those who live alone.
• Having a lot of friends does not mean you’ll avoid loneliness. Quality counts over quantity.

Loneliness Effects Your Health

• Lonely people have higher blood pressure (up to 30 points higher) than non-lonely people, according to a University of Chicago study. This is a major risk factor for heart disease.
• This same study found that “lonely people perceive their past in a more negative light, but they were also more likely to feel helpless and threatened in their current situations and, ironically, less likely to seek help when they were stressed out.” (courtesy: WebMD)
• Another study found that self-described lonely people are twice as likely to develop dementia as non-lonely people.
• Researchers say that people who are lonely increase the loneliness of their close friends.

Ways to Avoid Loneliness

There’s not one magic bullet for avoiding loneliness. We will all experience it one time or another. The secret is to avoid a “lonely lifestyle.” This means putting yourself at greater risk of the social isolation that leads to loneliness.

Here are some ways to avoid loneliness:

Make and Keep Good Friends.Life-long, solid friendships are the best, but not everyone has this gift. If you’ve lost your good friends, make new ones.

Find friends at churches, health clubs, senior centers, civic organizations, hobby groups, clubs, and any other place where socialization is involved. Take the initiative to introduce yourself, ask lots of questions and be prepared to stay in regular contact.

Adopt a Pet. Pets like cats and dogs are wonderful companions. They’ll love you no matter what. And you’ll find that you will love them no matter what.

Start a Hobby. Do you have any interests that you had trouble making the time for before you retired? Is there something you’ve always wanted to try? Now’s the time. A hobby can keep you mentally and physically engaged. Play an instrument, garden, bridge, walking group, read, travel, whatever strikes your fancy.

Volunteer.Volunteering gets you out of the house and alongside other people (or animals). You’ll feel better about yourself, feel valued and feel grateful. You might even make friends in the process. Check your local Area Agency on Aging for volunteer programs like RSVP (Retired Senior Volunteer Program).

Stay in Touch with Family. Just because you live in another time zone doesn’t mean you can’t stay close to family. If it’s been a while, just pick up the phone and make the call. You may feel awkward or guilty at first, but those feelings will quickly fade.

Continue to Challenge Yourself. Whether it’s learning a new language, trying a new sport or taking classes at your local college, challenging yourself will improve your confidence and self-esteem. Learning something new usually means meeting new people.

Summary

Choose to be alone rather than to feel lonely. Find out what you need in your life to avoid feeling lonely. This may be as simple as taking up a new hobby. Whatever it is, you’re health will thank you for making the effort.